Entry tags:
HISTORY.
A useful wiki article on Nosferatu sanguineus. & here's a thing on Borogravia, Mal's home country. & a plot synopsis, but I'm still going to tl;dr.
On the Disc – an aggressively whimsical semi-parallel version of Earth – there was a country called Borogravia. Borogravia was proud; Borogravia had a mad god (Nuggan) and a dead duchess, both of whom gave a great degree of false hope to a poor and barren nation; Borogravia made war. For years and years, because it could, until there was nothing but war in Borogravia, and it had run out of sons. When a country that loves war runs out of sons, and when propaganda stops working because of that nasty tendency of people to come back from war with fewer arms and legs than they left with, those who enter into warfare tend to have very individual motivations. In the case of what came to be termed in Borogravia the Monstrous Regiment, they were also not sons.
Eight young women cut off their hair, put on trousers, and joined the army to fight for the glory of the Motherland!!, except not really, because generally they were running away from rather than towards something. Maladicta certainly was. Tired of not getting respect from her family (because female vampires are meant to be sexy, not clever or strong or independent), Mal joined the Ins-and-Outs and quickly detected that her idea was not particularly original. She was surrounded by women.
Unfortunately, these eight women were the last recruits of the current war with Zlobenia, and as such were given shoddy equipment and told to go to the front lines posthaste. Before this could happen, however, the recruiting corporal (name of Strappi), a political spy for the highest Borogravian military authority, became so thrilled at the idea of heading to the front lines that he pissed himself and deserted, significant largely because a) he gave away the squad's position to the nearby Zlobenian infantry, and b) he stole Mal's coffee. Mal really needed her coffee; without coffee she would kill for a cup of . . . well, blood. [See powers section]
But speaking of the Zlobenians: those plucky girls manage to capture and humiliate (that is, kick in the fork and strip) the infantry forces, although it might have interested them to know that Prince Heinrich of Zlobenia, the heir to the Borogravian throne and a major reason for the war's outbreak, happened to be in that infantry party . . . and was the one kicked in the fork . . . and actually became quite angry about it. Due to the exciting influence of the Free and Fair Press of city-state Ankh-Morpork, the story of Prince Heinrich's ultimate humiliation at the hands of a small group of green recruits quickly became a hot topic of conversation across the Disc and instantly changed political attitudes towards Borogravia from They are insane and must be stopped (possibly accurate) to They are plucky underdogs and we should support them.
Due to confusing verbal and tactical maneuvering by the Ins-and-Outs' tremendously inexperienced Lieutenant Blouse, the regiment ultimately ended up making its way to Kneck Keep, a vital Borogravian stronghold which had been taken over by Zlobenians. Along this trip, the lack of coffee became an issue. Having substituted her addiction to human blood for an addiction to coffee, Mal began experiencing flashsides, or hallucinations of alternate realities – in this case, of the Vietnam War. As the squad made its way to the Keep, Mal got so close to reverting to her original addiction and attacking one of her fellow soldiers that she nearly had to be staked through the heart – until a blessed bag of beans dropped from the sky and nearly concussed her. (Said bag of beans had been dropped by Commander Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, who was keeping an eye on the Ins-and-Outs for complicated political reasons.)
An unconscious yet thoroughly caffeinated Mal (she sucked the caffeine directly from the beans through the bag, which is apparently a thing you can do if you're desperate enough) was left outside the Keep with their Sergeant Jackrum while the others disguised themselves as washerwomen to get inside the fortress. Mal was quickly caught and imprisoned by Zlobenians within the Keep; the others quickly followed (partially because no one believed they were actually women). After a complex series of power shifts within the Keep, the Borogravians retook it and, in their turn, became tremendously offended at the presence of women within their army, despite the fact that the squad (sans Mal, who was still unconscious) had freed them from their cells.
A court-martial was called – but not officially, since a court-martial is only for proper (that is, male) soldiers - and the top brass of Borogravia was about to disregard the squad's achievements and send them home when Sergeant Jackrum returned and revealed that about, oh, one third of the entire military was of the female persuasion. Halfway through this exciting development, the semi-divine Duchess of Borogravia possessed one of the recruits and demanded that Borogravia let go of her and of Nuggan and that the generals return home to save their people form starvation.
It was only after this, in the confusing and frequently condescending peace negotiations, that Mal revealed that she was really Maladicta. This was met with a general lack of offense from the squad, and everyone was sent home with a pat on the back and a none-too-subtle hint not to come back. The female generals stayed silent about their identities. There was a nice march to and party at the capitol, and on the way back Mal found a window in the air on the edge of the woods.
On the Disc – an aggressively whimsical semi-parallel version of Earth – there was a country called Borogravia. Borogravia was proud; Borogravia had a mad god (Nuggan) and a dead duchess, both of whom gave a great degree of false hope to a poor and barren nation; Borogravia made war. For years and years, because it could, until there was nothing but war in Borogravia, and it had run out of sons. When a country that loves war runs out of sons, and when propaganda stops working because of that nasty tendency of people to come back from war with fewer arms and legs than they left with, those who enter into warfare tend to have very individual motivations. In the case of what came to be termed in Borogravia the Monstrous Regiment, they were also not sons.
Eight young women cut off their hair, put on trousers, and joined the army to fight for the glory of the Motherland!!, except not really, because generally they were running away from rather than towards something. Maladicta certainly was. Tired of not getting respect from her family (because female vampires are meant to be sexy, not clever or strong or independent), Mal joined the Ins-and-Outs and quickly detected that her idea was not particularly original. She was surrounded by women.
Unfortunately, these eight women were the last recruits of the current war with Zlobenia, and as such were given shoddy equipment and told to go to the front lines posthaste. Before this could happen, however, the recruiting corporal (name of Strappi), a political spy for the highest Borogravian military authority, became so thrilled at the idea of heading to the front lines that he pissed himself and deserted, significant largely because a) he gave away the squad's position to the nearby Zlobenian infantry, and b) he stole Mal's coffee. Mal really needed her coffee; without coffee she would kill for a cup of . . . well, blood. [See powers section]
But speaking of the Zlobenians: those plucky girls manage to capture and humiliate (that is, kick in the fork and strip) the infantry forces, although it might have interested them to know that Prince Heinrich of Zlobenia, the heir to the Borogravian throne and a major reason for the war's outbreak, happened to be in that infantry party . . . and was the one kicked in the fork . . . and actually became quite angry about it. Due to the exciting influence of the Free and Fair Press of city-state Ankh-Morpork, the story of Prince Heinrich's ultimate humiliation at the hands of a small group of green recruits quickly became a hot topic of conversation across the Disc and instantly changed political attitudes towards Borogravia from They are insane and must be stopped (possibly accurate) to They are plucky underdogs and we should support them.
Due to confusing verbal and tactical maneuvering by the Ins-and-Outs' tremendously inexperienced Lieutenant Blouse, the regiment ultimately ended up making its way to Kneck Keep, a vital Borogravian stronghold which had been taken over by Zlobenians. Along this trip, the lack of coffee became an issue. Having substituted her addiction to human blood for an addiction to coffee, Mal began experiencing flashsides, or hallucinations of alternate realities – in this case, of the Vietnam War. As the squad made its way to the Keep, Mal got so close to reverting to her original addiction and attacking one of her fellow soldiers that she nearly had to be staked through the heart – until a blessed bag of beans dropped from the sky and nearly concussed her. (Said bag of beans had been dropped by Commander Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, who was keeping an eye on the Ins-and-Outs for complicated political reasons.)
An unconscious yet thoroughly caffeinated Mal (she sucked the caffeine directly from the beans through the bag, which is apparently a thing you can do if you're desperate enough) was left outside the Keep with their Sergeant Jackrum while the others disguised themselves as washerwomen to get inside the fortress. Mal was quickly caught and imprisoned by Zlobenians within the Keep; the others quickly followed (partially because no one believed they were actually women). After a complex series of power shifts within the Keep, the Borogravians retook it and, in their turn, became tremendously offended at the presence of women within their army, despite the fact that the squad (sans Mal, who was still unconscious) had freed them from their cells.
A court-martial was called – but not officially, since a court-martial is only for proper (that is, male) soldiers - and the top brass of Borogravia was about to disregard the squad's achievements and send them home when Sergeant Jackrum returned and revealed that about, oh, one third of the entire military was of the female persuasion. Halfway through this exciting development, the semi-divine Duchess of Borogravia possessed one of the recruits and demanded that Borogravia let go of her and of Nuggan and that the generals return home to save their people form starvation.
It was only after this, in the confusing and frequently condescending peace negotiations, that Mal revealed that she was really Maladicta. This was met with a general lack of offense from the squad, and everyone was sent home with a pat on the back and a none-too-subtle hint not to come back. The female generals stayed silent about their identities. There was a nice march to and party at the capitol, and on the way back Mal found a window in the air on the edge of the woods.